[i just really wanna share this] :)
Dear Girls (from us guys)…
*Don’t assume that guys won’t care where you are, because we do.
It makes us feel secure to know that our girlfriends aren’t off flirting with guys we’ve never heard of.
*Also, don’t talk about your ex-boyfriends.
We never have, nor ever will respect or like them, nor do we want to hear about them.
When you do, you’re asking your boyfriend to be jealous.
You’re asking your boyfriend to lose trust.
*On that, don’t hump everything that walks into the room.
We don’t care if you talk to other guys.
We don’t care if you’re friends with other guys.
But when you’re sitting next to us, and some random guy walks into the room and you jump up and tackle him, without even introducing us, yeah, it pisses us off.
It doesn’t help if you sit there and talk to him for ten minutes without even acknowledging the fact that we’re still there.
*Also, when we tell you you’re pretty/ beautiful/ gorgeous/ cute/ stunning, we freaking mean it.
Don’t tell us we’re wrong.
We’ll stop trying to convince you.
The sexiest thing about a girl is confidence.
Yeah, you can quote me.
*Don’t be mad when we hold the door open.
Smile and say “thank you.”
Let us pay for you.
Don’t “feel bad.”
We enjoy doing it.
Smile and say - everybody together now - “thank you.”
*Kiss us when no one’s watching.
If you kiss us when you know nobody’s looking we’ll be more impressed.
*You don’t have to get dressed up for us.
If we’re going out with you in the first place, you don’t have to feel the need to wear the shortest skirt you have, put on every kind of makeup you own.
We like you for WHO you are and not WHAT you are.
*Don’t flirt with guys when we’re not around.
We’ll find out. Trust us.
We have eyes everywhere.
And when we find out, we’re pissed.
Not necessarily with the guys you flirted with, more-so with you.
*Don’t take everything we say seriously.
Sarcasm is a beautiful thing. See the beauty in it.
Don’t get angry easily.
Stop using magazines/media as your bible.
*Don’t talk about how hot Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt is in front of us.
It’s boring, and we don’t care.
You have girlfriends for that.
*Whatever happened to the word “handsome”?
Why does everything have to be “hot/sexy”?
I’d be utterly stunned by a girl who greeted me with “Hey handsome!” instead of “Hey baby/ stud/ cutie/ sexy” or whatever else you can think of.
Claiming girls or guys to be “hot” shows immaturity.
**Girls, I cannot stress this enough: if you aren’t being treated right by a guy, don’t wait for him to change.
Ditch his sorry, disgrace-to-the-male-population ass, and find someone who will treat you with utter respect.
Someone who will honor your morals.
Someone who will make you smile when you’re at your lowest.
1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.
But what is more painful is to love someone and never
find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who
means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was
never meant to be and you just have to let go.
3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a
porch swing with, never say a word, and then walk away
feeling like it was the best conversation you’ve ever had.
4. It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose
it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been
missing until it arrives.
5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an
hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it
takes a lifetime to forget someone.
6. Don’t go for looks, they can deceive. Don’t go for wealth,
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you
smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day
7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go,
be what you want to be. Because you have only one life and
one chance to do all the things you want to do.
8. Always put yourself in the other’s shoes. If you feel that it
hurts you, it probably hurts the person too.
9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck
a life. A timely word may level stress. But a loving word may
heal and bless.
10. The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best
of everything they just make the most of everything that comes
along their way.
11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with
a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone
around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die,
you’re the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.
Now here is a problem that finally has a formula for getting to the bottom of an age old problem.
From a strictly mathematical viewpoint it goes like this:
What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?
Here’s a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%
AND, look how far a** kissing will take you.
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%
So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bulls**t and A** Kissing that will put you over the top.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or Endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote Proofs of their beliefs using Boyle’s Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:
"First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let us look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle’s Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa Banyan during my Freshman year, “…that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you.”, and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.”
This student received the only A.
Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I’ve been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. But it’s not only the passion Mom, I’m pregnant and Ahmed said that we will be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that’s now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone and we’ll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Don’t worry Mom, I’m 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.
Your daughter, Judith
PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I’m over at the neighbor’s house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that’s in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.
Imagine if history’s greats had access to the soap box that is Twitter; their famous quotes would have totally gone viral.
By Caitlin O’Connell and Brandon Specktor with David Noonan
1. Julius Caesar @EmperorJC
2. Napoleon Bonaparte @boney
3. Edith Wharton @SocietyGal
4. FDR @Fala4ever
5. Winston Churchill @badassbrit
6. JFK @PT109
7. Margaret Thatcher @ironlady
8. Richard Nixon @trickydick
9. Hillary Clinton @hillary (Retweeted by Michelle Obama)
10. Bill Clinton @theprez
Source: Reader’s Digest
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of Being and ideal Grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.
I love thee freely, as men strive for Right;
I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise.
I love with a passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints, I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life! and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.